youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
