kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
