last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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