I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
