this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
