VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
