you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
