I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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