We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We left an ass print on the piano.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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