I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You were trust falling into bushes
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
