Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We named our party play list daddy issues
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
