next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
