Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
