real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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