making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
