I wish I could punch you in the face.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
