Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
