No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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