White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry about my life...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
