a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
