We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
