Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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