Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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