This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
do herpes really smell.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
