Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
