when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
