Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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