Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
