I look better un-naked...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
