In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
