yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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