so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it was like eating out sand paper
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
