Say something about gay babies.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
