Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
