garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
