margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this beer tastes like vomit already
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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