so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
