i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
