Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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