New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
