No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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