yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
