is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i think i just lost a toe
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
