I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Im part way to drunk.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
