I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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