At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Go christen that room with your naked body.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
