everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
