so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is wine microwaveable?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
