belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize