I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
