do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
