Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So many bounce houses so little time
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So vagazzling was a success
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
