i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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