you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
